I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
