Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
