I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
