Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
