I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Watching her eat just hurts me
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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