is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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