East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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