Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
