Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
