all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
