So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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