He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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