you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Girls should come with a carfax report
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
