I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
