I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize