She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You made out with two different species that night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
