Define "chronic" masturbator.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
