Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
