69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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