can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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