my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
