so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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