i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
