Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize