im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
