It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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