i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
