Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
