He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
