I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
