he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
