oh god the rape fog is back!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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