your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
