But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
