It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
