Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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