Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
