Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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