is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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