Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
