I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
