No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Two words: blizzard sex
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
