i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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