are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize