she was so not down for the gang bang
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need to sanitize my soul.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
