I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
