Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm having to shit out rocks
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