People in love make me want to vomit
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
