and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
