I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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