shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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