So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
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