Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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