It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
