how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
