did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
