so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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