Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
