Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
