i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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