Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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