She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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