had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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