I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
