i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize