fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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