thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
