Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize