Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
