i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
