did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize