who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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