Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
